Simplicity.

It's a day at the beach with nothing to do but walk on the cold, wet sand while the surf rages against the shore  and lights of distant ships break through the fog floating as a wisp across the waves.

It's walking the dogs with no leash constraining their necks, but curiosity in their eyes as they ask why are we here and when can we go home. As they look with longing and anxiety at the car that brought them here.

It's forgetting for a moment, that there are bills to pay, lawn to mow, laundry to wash, mouths to feed and people who expect of you things you may not be able to give.

It's letting your mind free itself of all the cares, worries and thoughts that plaque itself while waiting the days, weeks, months that consume your dreams and desires of a life anew.

It's walking for pleasure instead of walking for exercise. It's eating right because it feels good, instead of eating right because you need to diet. It's dancing to music for fun, instead of dancing drunk.

Life, simplicity. Who could ask for more.

Temptations and Expectations

Oh, that smell. The smell of freshly made meatloaf with all the good stuff in it. I'm so tempted. One of my students just came back from getting lunch. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, gravy - oh my.

But it was meatloaf, mashed potatoes, gravy, pizza, french fries, blueberry pancakes, bacon, greasy cheeseburgers and a whole host of other foods that got me where I am today.

Well, maybe not entirely.

I was a "big" girl as a youngster. I can remember in grade school being taunted by some of my classmates for being larger than the average kid. Always picked last in gym class for games where there were two teams competing, it was hard fitting in, literally and figuratively. Kids can be cruel because they only see the truth and tell the truth. There was one boy I'll never forget, who loved to shout "hefty, hefty, hefty" (referring to an old commercial for trash bags) every time he saw me.

Being a teenager was even worse. The highlight of my high school days was marching in the band for Friday night football games. That was fun. The rest of the time, not so much. I didn't date, didn't go to dances, didn't join any clubs. Basically I went to school and did my time. Until my junior year that is.

When I was 16, my mom's best friend introduced me to her nephew. An older boy, oh my. He seemed to like me, for some silly reason, and we started dating. I can remember the first time he asked me out. We were sitting in his car (a 1965 white Chevy Impala) in front of his aunt's house, and he turns to me and says "So when are we going to the drive-in movies?" LOL! A few months later, at the age of 17 (he was 21), we ran away and got married with a baby on the way. But that's another story.

So through the eight years I was married to him, through my divorce, through going to work in my first real job, through trying to raise my kids (two by now) alone, I remained hefty.

After being in the work field for several years, I went on a liquid diet, sort of.

I found that working all day was followed by lots of people with something called "happy hour." Hmmm. Happy hour made me happy and I fit in with the rest of the world. Happy hour made me very, very happy. So for about a year, I found that if I quit eating, and just drank beer all the time, I could get skinny. I mean, the skinniest I had ever been in my life.

For a while, I actually fit in jeans smaller than my sister's. (A beauty queen in college, she was a majorette, cheerleader, etc. All the opposite of what I was.) So fitting into her old jeans was a boost for sure.

But things happen. And they did. I hooked up with a guy who I'll always be thankful to for giving me my youngest child, but other than that, I hope he rots in hell. He was evil personified, but I didn't realize it for a few years. He was abusive, in many ways. By the time I got rid of him, I was headed back to the hefty stage.

I met my now-husband playing backgammon on the internet. He was and is a Christian man with a kind heart. We've been together for 10 years now, and we've both become overweight couch potatoes (well more like computer-chair potatoes).

The first indication we needed to do something radically different was the day he was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy. Or, his heart was in trouble. We tried the gym first, which worked ok, as long as we went. But of course, there was always something more interesting to do, or I was too tired after work, or any excuse that would work, often did work.

Then, my brother-in-law sent me the movie "Fast, Sick & Nearly Dead." What a revelation. I began searching for recipes on the internet, bought a juicer, and started trying juice instead of a meal every day. Hmmm, I felt better. I actually think my pants are fitting better.

So, I've been juicing on and off for several days... trying new green juice recipes, making some red juice (supposed to taste like fruit punch - hahahaha), adding this, subtracting that... trying to get a recipe I can enjoy for the next 60 or so days.

I've learned that kale juice by itself is very bitter. Apples, on the other hand, add a lot of sweetness. Using lemon and lime help the taste. And never, ever, under any circumstances, take a bite of raw ginger. Whewww was it strong! We've also tried spinach juice (a whole bag of salad spinach, a couple carrots, two granny smith apples, a lemon and a lime). I liked it pretty well, but Husband wasn't too impressed. He's been trying to stick to the juicing, but is often substituting it for a meal and then eating at other times. As a heart patient on a couple medications, he has to be careful how he eats.

Today I brought my green juice to work. At lunchtime, I've gone a total of five meals yesterday and today with just juice. I'm not forcing myself, but the juice is filling and I'm only going to do this one meal at a time. I know what happens when I set expectations that are too high for me to meet. So, no meatloaf today (she said it was dry anyway). Tomorrow, only God knows.

Ciao and love, babs

Let the juicing begin.

I woke up the other morning and realized that at age 57, I feel like crap. Not to be crass or anything, but I'm  overweight by more than 100 pounds, I'm static (or more to the point - I sit at work all day in front of a computer and then go home at night and sit in front of another computer and/or television until I go to bed). I'm tired.

I don't want to feel like crap anymore.

It's time to do something different.

Not too long ago, my brother-in-law sent me an email recommending a movie. "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead." Wow I thought, he must have been reading my mind. I looked at RedBox for the movie, no luck. I looked at Blockbuster. No luck. So, I googled (that's a verb now, right?) the movie and read about Joe Cross, an Australian who was as the title says: fat, sick and nearly dead from crappy things that happen to fat and old people.

After watching some YouTube videos about this Joe Cross, I began to think that maybe he has found an answer I might live with. His movie reveals how living on just homemade juice from fresh vegetables and fruits for 60 days led to his weight loss of over 100 pounds. 60 days. 100 pounds. Seems like something I could live with for that long, eh?

So, bearing in mind that this plan uses tons of vegetables (20 pounds a day on average), I grabbed his recipes and headed out to the supermarket. Kale, lots of kale, is the main ingredient in Joe's "green juice." Add a cucumber, a lemon, a stalk of celery, a green apple and a piece of ginger. Not bad to begin with. So, home again, I decided to use my Magic Bullet juicer attachment and see what happened. WHEW. What happened was a helluva mess. The little bullets are not made for heavy duty juicing. After wiping green gunk from the counters, walls, microwave front, stove, and me, I cleaned the bullet and stored it away.

Oh, I did get about two ounces of juice from the above ingredients. Not bad tasting, really. Kinda like green lemonade.

The next day, I thought I'd try using my food processor. Oh boy. That mess was even worse. But I did get more juice out of it, after adding some water so the food processor would puree the veggies. Using some advice gleaned from YouTube, I had my hubby buy me a pair of knee high hose (33¢ at WallyWorld). Using the hose as a filter inside a tall plastic pitcher, I poured the puree through the hose and then squeezed out as much goodness as possible. Leaves a lot of pulp in the hose, but I threw a pinch in my juice for fiber, and am thinking maybe compost it in the future?

Although the food processor worked ok, it was a lot of labor, and my arthritic hand didn't like having to squeeze so hard to get the juice out.

So, today is payday. I have researched every juicer on the market and am ordering one from Amazon for $65. Not too bad an investment, if it can really help me begin to get the weight off.

Say a prayer or two for me. This weekend begins my juicing journey.

Ciao and love, babs